About Me - The Rev. Matthew Gillett

I was made a deacon in The Episcopal Church in 1991, and a priest in 1992, and I officially took early retirement on October 1, 2021 after 30 years of service.

My public ministry, however, came to a sudden halt in April, 2020. At that point, I experienced what might best be described as a great falling apart of my life. Jesus said that if we wish to find our life, we need to lose it, and that if we wish to live within the realm of God, we must be born again. And this is exactly what happened to me in 2020 -- or, at least, when it began to happen. It is a journey that has taken nearly five years.

Driven by psychological and emotional forces that I didn't understand and with which I could not cope, I made choices which, in the end, drew me into financial misconduct and caused a great deal of pain to a great many people. To say that I am sorry to all those who were caught up in that pain is not nearly sufficient. Sometimes there are things that happen in life for which words are not adequate, and the crisis into which I fell -- which my own choices created -- is one of those moments where language seems to fail.

My own healing process continues. Therapy has illuminated many things of which I was not previously aware. I know now the forces that tend to drive me, and if I am not aware of them and careful about them, they will drive me off a cliff.

My hope and prayer is that others caught up in the pain of my crisis are making progress in their healing.

Navigating these years of crisis brought me to the very limit of institutional religion, and I am not sure where I stand with it these days. And I have come to deeply appreciate that, in the end, the essence of religion or spirituality, whether it be the Christian tradition or any other, is to promote human healing, rooted in authenticity. A religion or spiritual path that does anything other than this has lost its way. I have encountered people firmly rooted in the Christian tradition who were incapable of or uninterested in helping to promote my healing and growth. And I have encountered people who have no religious commitment whatsoever who have been essential in that process. It has been unbelievably painful. But it has also been punctuated by moments of breathtaking grace.

I have come to a new place in my life at long last. A cycle has ended, and I find myself at a point of arrival -- but also of departure. As I integrate all that has happened into the story of my life, and come to a place of acceptance and surrender, I am beginning to explore what it means to be a priest in this next chapter.

On April 10, 2025, the Episcopal Bishop of California deposed me from the priesthood of The Episcopal Church, meaning that I am no longer an Episcopal priest. There is much I could say about what seemed to be the basis of that decision, and of the decision itself, but what would be the point of that? A priest I know commented to me in the aftermath that decision that it was to be expected, that the institutional church simply could not restore me in any way to ordained ministry because, in these situations, the concerns and demands of institutional life always end up overriding any other consideration. And I think that is right.

There was some anger and pain when I learned of that decision, but I will also say that there was a sense of freedom that the decision had been made and I at last knew where I stood. And one of my learnings on this journey has been to realize the importance of recognizing and surrendering to reality as it is, not as I would wish it to be. The only real path to peace, integration and healing is that act of surrender. Only then is one truly free and empowered to move into the reality that is.

While my journey with The Episcopal Church is at an end, a new journey has begun. I am honored and humbled that on June 20, 2025, I was incardinated (that is, transferred to the jurisdiction of a new bishop) as a priest into the ministerial community of The White Robed Monks of St. Benedict. More of their mission can be learned elsewhere on this site. The WRBSB trace their spiritual lineage to the "old Catholic Church" embodied originally in what is known as the Union of Utrecht.

Utrecht is a city, and diocesan seat, in the Netherlands. Over the centuries, they had something of a history of not getting along too comfortably with Rome. This came to a head in the 19th century when the First Vatican Council declared that the Pope could teach infallibly. This was a step too far for many catholics in Utrecht, and the Archbishop of Utrecht and his diocese broke with Rome.

In the intervening century and more, the church in Utrecht, and its offspring elsewhere in Europe and the United States, have evolved as they have continued to journey. They permit married clergy, they permit women clergy, and in many ways they hold positions similar to what would be familiar to Episcopalians. In fact, a number of years ago, the Union of Utrecht entered a relationship of full communion with the Anglican Communion, including the Episcopal Church.

And so this is the lineage of the White Robed Monks of St Benedict and their affiliated clergy. To that lineage the WRBSB have added an appreciation for the Zen Buddhist tradition and its insights, weaving them into their understanding of catholic Christianity in a way that brings about a creative and spiritually powerful synthesis -- and one which fits well with the evolution of my own theology and spirituality. The WRBSB have a commitment to offering the sacraments of the church to whomever asks without question, finding a particular vocation not only of offering this blended spirituality but also to serve those who find barriers within the institutional church for one reason or another. Or who have no religious or spiritual affiliation but seek somehow to touch the Great Mystery at key moments of their lives.

I have arrived finally at a place that feels right, as an independent priest related to the abbott-bishop of the White Robed Monks under a recognition of my own redemption and recovery that The Episcopal Church was not able to grasp or entertain. The arc of my own spiritual journey has moved from Congregational Protestantism to Anglicanism to Dissenting Catholicism with a Zen twist, and from loosely institutional to hierarchically institutional to non-institutional. It is another Point of Arrival -- and also of departure on a new journey.